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In no particular order, and not promising anything too exciting.

1. Kiss someone I care for under hundreds of floating lanterns. Disregarding the negative environmental impacts, have you seen the festivals they do in some part of the world? Beautiful! The video above is from Thailand. Now I just have to find a willing victim I mean accomplice I mean um… :]

2. Finally master a new language! I really don’t want fall into the category of people who think the English language alone is sufficient to navigate through life. The same thought process towards learning a language is used when learning music, so why has it been so hard for me so far?  Now I just need to decide which language to being with.  Any thoughts?

3. Go hang gliding.  Actually I really don’t know why I haven’t done this yet because there’s a hang gliding group here in Chicago that’s only a phone call away.  I guess I always imagined myself doing this in a more exotic location than say, the Midwest.  :]  It’s the closest thing we can really get to flying, right?  Why wouldn’t you want to experience it at least once?

4. Perform musically for a crowd of thousands. I love being on stage. I really miss it. There’s something so electrifying about it, you feel so alive. I don’t know what vehicle of music this would fall under, but I hope one day to share my music onstage with a crowd of significant number.

5. Go to the Lightning in a Bottle festival next year. This is a music/art/life festival in southern California.  My friend went this year and the pictures and experiences she brought back to share with me sound absolutely amazing.  Attempting to explain it all would be stupid since I’ve never actually been, but it sounds like a great meshing together of sensory experiences, meeting other people, and just being yourself.  Here’s the link to the official page if you’d like to go check it out for yourself:


So..on to part two of the trip.  After wandering around in Toronto over the weekend, we started heading back to Muskegon, MI, where Michelle’s dad lives.  This part of the trip wasn’t so much for adventures so much as it was just to relax and take some time for inner meditation.  Having said that, there really isn’t a need to run a play by play of this part but there is one moment I’d like to share, which is when we went to the beach on Monday night, I think it was.

We got to the beach at just before sunset. The water was perfectly warm and and shallow for an amazingly far distance past the shore.  As the sun began to set the surface of the water turned a reflective golden-silver color.  It looked like we were swimming in mercury or liquid silver, with the sun burning into brilliant shades of oranges, reds, and violets in the sky above.  It was infinitely beautiful and I felt so at peace and content.  Everything seemed to fade away except the sky above me.  Yes, I’m getting poetic. 😉

Words can’t really do the scene justice, so here a few pics to help out:

Venturing out into the waves.  See what I mean when I say the water was silver!  Michelle and I on the beach:

Enjoying the sand.

Messages of love (to music anyways) and camera whoring bikini pic taking a nap on the beach:


As the sun begins to set, the moon begins to rise:

Ending the post with a shot of Michelle’s dog, Marvin:

-End of Part 2, thanks for reading! 🙂 –

I have a terror of dark water where I can’t see the bottom.  I have dreams at least twice a month about being in a wide, dark ocean as far as the eye can see, or at least some variation thereof.  Water is supposed to symbolize your emotions in dreams. And lately it would definitely be appropriate that I’m sitting pretty in an ocean, ha. Recently I’ve had to let go of many things that were once the most important things in my life.  But new things can’t happen until some things end, and this is the way the world works; sometimes there’s simply no more room in your life for anything else and so something has to be either changed or removed.

My point being, when you are in the habit of letting go of things, sometimes you have to let go of yourself as well.  Surrender to the current of events and do your best to navigate them as you can.  I stood on a boat rocking so far, far out on lake Michigan the shore was a strip of tan in the distance.  The waves were choppy.  I had a life jacket on.  My friend was already in the water.  It was dark and so deep.  I closed my eyes and jumped in and let myself sink under.

I was fucking terrified!

However I don’t think anyone else noticed.  Much. I claimed my shivering up to the coolness of the water..

“I have to pee!” our six year old companion declared.  Yah no jokes kid, you’re not the only one here.

“Charming,” his father replied in response.

I made myself lay on my back and let the waves carry me where they will for a few moments, trying my best not to imagine some THING grabbing me by the ankles and pulling me under.

But the water was refreshing, the waves carrying me where the will.  The sky was a brilliant blue above me, endless and open.  Truly surrendering everything, all of my senses (including my instinct to get the hell back on the boat) was powerful, and for a brief moment I understood that some things in life and the universe are too powerful to fight.  Some things you must give yourself to and only then will that power become part of yourself and your own experience.

Anyways I ramble too much.


It’s 6:56 AM now, although I’ve been up since around 5 or so.  This is the second time this week I’ve woken up way more early than needed, for no apparent reason. Maybe because everything in my life is changing right now, although I may or may not post about that later. Feeling lazy but not tired enough to be able to fall back asleep…nooo!  On Wednesday I had a friend’s birthday party and didn’t go to bed until around 3:30, and then woke up at 5:30…last night I think I fell asleep somewhere between 2 and 3.  Ugh…this means I will probably enter a coma-like stupor later this afternoon unless I’m able to take a nap.

Anyways, lately I’ve been having the strangest and slightly comforting experience of thinking about a problem or situation, and then coming across some random thing in the world which speaks to me of it.  I’ll think about something, then come across a book passage, or a song on the radio, or whatever.  Signs from the universe, maybe?? Maybe all you have to do is ask for a second opinion and you’ll get it if you listen carefully enough…for instance, as I sit here drinking coffee, I decided to go onto the blog of an author I admire, Paulo Coelho.  He’s a well known author from Brazil, and his book Eleven Minutes is one of my favorites.  Anyways, here is what I see after exploring for a few moments:

A friend came to wait on our table – at a café in San Diego, California.

I had met Cláudia in Brazil four years previously, and tell my friends about her life in the USA: she only sleeps for three hours, since she works in this café till late, and is a babysitter throughout the day.

“I don’t know how she can stand it,” one of them says.

“There’s a Buddhist story about a turtle,” replies an Argentinian woman at our table.

“The turtle was crossing a swamp, covered in mud, when it passed a temple. There it saw the shell of another turtle – all adorned with gold and precious stones.

“I don’t envy you, ancient friend,” thought the turtle. “You’re covered in jewels, but I’m doing what I want.”

(taken from: )

What I take from this is that since I’m awake, I might as well get on with it and embrace the day.  Instead of looking at this like a pain in the ass I could view it as a gift: I’ve been given an extra two hours in peace and quiet, all to myself!  In truth I’m not terribly tired, I think it’s more of a mental belief that I NEED 8+ hours EVERYDAY to be happy.  But right now I feel pretty content.  Which then makes me think, how much of our happiness is blocked off by similar mental blocks?  We THINK that we NEED _________, but do we really?  I’ll let you fill in the various blanks for your own life, A) because I think the answers differs for everyone and B) because even though I’m not necessarily tired, my brain is still a little too fuzzy to be exploring stuff like this without possibly sounding stupid.  Aaah come on coffee, kick me already!

P.S. Good morning!  Have a brilliant and beautiful day!!

Hello, I'm Melissa. Welcome to my blog! I'm a little panda living in the city who enjoys traveling, electronic music, yummy food, beauty/fashion, and collecting as many amazing moments in this life as possible. Thanks so much for reading! :)

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